challenges of being a stepmother

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It is important to view the challenges of being a stepparent honestly so that you can prepare yourself for the emotional work that it will take to make a happy blended family.. With each challenge of being a stepparent, there is a way to overcome it. Website:

Your own children Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I know that personally I have been sad because my stepson leaves to go back to his mom’s house. ?s portrayal of wicked stepmothers might cross your mind when you think of stepmothers. It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

Kids are more forgiving of their parents than their stepparents.

If that idea doesn’t work for you then consider checking in every few days.

Say you’re doing the majority of the school pick-ups, drop-offs, or homework duties and you feel it’s taking away from the things that you want to do. So when we moved in together last spring, I jumped in with both feet. It is also important to establish right away that the decisions you make are just as valid and important as your husbands. You may feel sad, frustrated, or worried about how things are going. I would do anything for him, but that doesn’t make the challenges of being a stepmom any easier. Home » Family » Blended Families » The Challenges of Being a Stepparent and How to Overcome Them. She is the author of Menu Dating and the soon to be released, Getting Out of Love's Way. Written by Katie Gallagher Accepting this reality can be exceptionally challenging. Quite frequently, stepmoms feel it is not their place to discipline their stepchild so they stay quiet and resentment is built. Another major area of communication that you need to work on along with preventing mix-ups and handling disagreements is disciplining your stepchild.

Another thing you can do to help overcome the struggles is to make a list of all the positives and the reasons why being a stepmom is worth it. I used to worry that when my stepson grows up he will think his dad put a new family before him. I honestly still have a hard time with this one, but it has helped to communicate those feelings with my husband instead of keeping it to myself. I told my husband before we had kids together that I was so thankful they wouldn’t have to travel between two houses because I couldn’t bear the thought of them being gone that much. More from Michelle: 5 Essential Questions To Ask Yourself Before Becoming A Stepmom, Join the stepmom community & become a part of the honest stories & words of advice from real stepmoms who are navigating modern parenting & stepparenting like never before. Getting rid of anger won’t happen overnight. By doing this, the other parent may tell you something they wouldn’t have otherwise. There are so many other things that can make you frustrated, and many of them I’ve listed early in this article including communication and changing priorities. This was the case when I became a stepmother. He needs to listen to whichever parent is instructing him at the time.

I can’t be the only parent. Issues with family members can be found in any marriage. She was in corporate marketing for 15 years before leaving it to focus on family. And letâ? You should be used to this, and it isn’t a big deal. Throughout history stepmothers have been painted as wicked and evil. It may take months or even years for the relationship to grow. Along with mix-ups and confusion, you and your husband will encounter some disagreements about things concerning your stepchild. Chances are that that is what your new stepchild is thinking too. Stepmoms carry guilt with them just as the biological parents may also have guilt. Being a stepmother can feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. Trust is shattered and it takes time to grow anything new. They have already undergone some huge changes in their lives, and having a new mother added to the mix can be quite an adjustment for them. Again, realize this isn’t about you; it is about them and their feelings and emotions. Being able to take time to yourself and focus on your own well-being will make life as a stepmom a little less of a struggle.

When you focus on what is going well, you will have something to hold onto when you are in a challenging moment. ?t take rude behaviour or cutting comments personally; the child most likely does not hate or even dislike you, they are just lashing out with their feelings of insecurity, hurt, and frustration. I still worry about it to this day, but definitely a whole lot less than before. If you choose to purchase through these links, you do not pay more but I may receive a small commission. Some links on this site are affiliate links. How are you going to discipline him if he breaks the rules? Remember that consistent parenting from a loving place is the very best you can give your family. Sit down and be honest with the stepchildren that you are committed to building a home of trust and peace. Allow me to shed some light on this touchy subject. Ask questions and let them ask you questions in return. Potty Training While Working From Home Does Not Go Hand in Hand, Teaching Kids to Be Empathetic Problem Solvers, Tools for new parents navigating journalism and tech. That thought can be frustrating, but it will get better. Sleep when your baby sleeps Racerback Tank, I have Twins (Heather Gray)... Unisex Zip Hoodie, Twin Mom Business Helps Families and Children in Need, Being Mom to three sets of twins and a singleton, Hey Kids, Did You Hear That? This concept of working through anger can be a daunting and sometimes long journey for many stepmoms, especially when dealing with high-conflict exes or dysfunctional co-parents. You cannot force people to like you, let alone love you. Another part of missing out that I found difficult to cope with was the fact my biological children would not spend as much time with their brother. Being a mom of twins is truly a double blessing. Instead of focusing on what is not going well, pick out the good moments. Therefore, you really don’t know what your role is. Why? It is really about how the child is dealing with the events that have happened in their life. You will always be viewed in a different way, which can prove to be difficult when things are not going well. Maybe this doesn’t sound too hard, and it isn’t truthfully, but when all you want to do is sleep in or if your favorite show is being interrupted it can be easy to get upset or frustrated because you can’t do what you would normally do. You jump into the child’s life in the middle of it. These differences can surface in all marriages with kids. Just knowing that there would be spring breaks, fall breaks, and winter breaks that they would miss out on completely and then parts of their summer break. When you have a stepchild, be ready to experience changes to your routine. I love this kid. Therefore, you really don’t know what your role is. One of the most common difficulties of being a stepmother is that you feel awkward in your role. You have to make decisions everyday of your life. It wasn’t overnight. Not only are you not entitled to the same privileges their mother has, but they will never treat you as they do their mom and neither will anyone else for that matter, even if you do take care of them as a mother would. But this is also part of being a parent, and it’s totally normal for a stepmom to be downright terrified at times. This first point encompasses so many different elements all in one. Your email address will not be published. Sometimes you may just feel like you never know what is going on. If you want an opportunity to be published, then please reach out to us at [email protected] I have someone to keep me company at the grocery store. First of all, no matter how much time, effort, and love you give your stepchildren and the relationships you have with them, you will never be their mother. If you don’t have a good relationship with your stepchild’s mother, the child will feel that and act in a way that they believe will please their mom—even when their mother is not around. You and your spouse may have different ways of disciplining. Get Your Kids to Listen, Prepping Your Home for Parenthood: Tips for Disabled Parents, Your Child’s Teacher May be Doing Right by Giving Students What They Want, 16 Challenges of the First 6 Months of Twin Parenthood, Twin Moms Reveal the Ultimate Life Hacks for Managing Multiples, BetterHelp, Children and Loss: The Five Stages of Grief, Top Tips for Surviving (and Thriving) Virtual Learning with Twins, The Pandemic: What NICU Moms have been trying to tell you…, “Stop creating issues that don’t EXIST.” The Six Words That Could Have Cost My Baby Her Life, Back-to-School Tips for Getting Kids to Brush Regularly. © | Disclosures and Terms of Service | Developed By: Passionate Brains, We love hearing from you.

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If this happens to you, give yourself some grace. Take up a hobby that gets you out of the house a little while when they are there. If it does, there is support out there to be had. You will probably experience your stepchild’s other parents doing things without letting you know or asking your opinion. If anything you at least need to get on the same page so your stepson doesn’t get confused. They were 5 and 2 … It’s not uncommon or unique. But it is paralyzing to many people in their lives. What advice do you have from your journey as a stepmother to others in this role? Being a stepmom will be one of the biggest blessings in your life, but also one of the biggest challenges.

No control These are some of the most common difficulties of being a stepmother and why they occur. There are just so many ways that mix-ups can happen, so it is important to work on talking with everyone.

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